Well, I am L-I-V-E in Panama and who would have thought,
that my being black would actually be a thing? I imagined that, since there are
obviously people here of African descent, my presence would go almost
unnoticed---not.
Lol. A task as simple as walking to the
go grocery store for me is met with hollering matches between construction
workers, taxi drivers, and quite frankly almost any guy that’s on the street.
Yeah, I know what you are thinking---I’m an international showstopper...jk.
But this show stoppin’ deserves analysis. Here, I am called 'La
Negra,' which literally means the black girl/woman, black and feminine.
Sometimes I get 'morena,' which is brown girl. To-may-to, to-mah-to.
I will say that I was prepared for
the 'la negra' experience because it happened to me in Spain and my host mom
explained to me that it was a term of endearment. Call it what you want, but I
still have some reservations about the deeper meaning of being objectified by
your skin color AND womanhood. But, I am in another country and I have always
despised when people complain about a country they are visiting. I will live this experience and use it
to my advantage by writing about it.
On two separate occasions, I have
felt extremely uncomfortable with taxi drivers because one kept purring over
how beautiful my skin was and the other kept explaining how much he loved my
skin color. The last one even went as far as rubbing his head on my arm…errr?
Yes, people will say that it’s normal
here for women of afro-descent to be referred to as ‘negra’ or even ‘morena.’
Yet, I find it peculiar that I have
to be referred to as ‘la negra.’ Yes, in the Spanish language they often refer
to people as exactly what they are in a sweet (?) way. They might call a cute,
chubby little girl, ‘gordita’ or a cute, black little girl, ‘negrita.’ They even
call the people from East Asian countries here, ‘chino,’ #straightlikethat. But
even in a place where there are others who look juuuuuust like me, my skin is
still made to be something exotic.
Something tells me that there is more to this. I have a couple of
theories; we will delve into them later on in the journey.
All this to say that, while I expected that my seemingly African looks would stand out a bit from time to time, I didn’t expect the rave reviews that I am receiving from men and women alike. With the men, it is as though I am a forbidden fruit. Or rather, the forbidden race, whether they look like me or lighter. With the women, I can't exactly read all of them, but I have noticed a sense of disapproval/ridicule based on their facial expressions/body language. I am just assuming that it may because of the way I wear my hair, (haven’t seen anyone with natural hair here) or wrap my head when I don’t feel like engaging in a war entitled Hair vs. Comb. One day as I enjoyed my Saturday ritual of ceviche de langostinos* at the Mercado de Mariscos*, a woman asked me why I didn’t perm my hair...that my hairstyle must be an "estilo africano*." She really meant no harm, I guess. The way I look, the way I dress [some days], my style, jewelry, and even that dramatic (but natural) walk that people love to hate... it screams culture...it screams...black...it screams Africa...and I am beginning to think that some folks here, just aren’t ready to open up their ears and hear my silent audio. We shall see…
This topic is one that we will
revisit at various times throughout the journey, as I am sure that it will come
up pretty often. So don’t worry. Race, culture, travel, and perception--- it’s
only right.
*Ceviche made with Jumbo Shrimp or Prawns
*Seafood Market
*African Style
Up next: Hopping the border to Costa
Rica...buckle your seat belts. Yes, it's the law, even here on Bee's Backseat :) Stay tuned for the Carnaval experience!
