Odyssey of the Heart: Girls and Goals

Just a few days shy of my departure from Sierra Leone, I was invited to talk on a Sports Talk radio show on Kalleone Jams. I will admit that I avoided the offer a few times, because at this point, I was burned out from the constant going and coming of family visits, and wanted to spend my last few days wallowing in love, food, and immediate family. I wanted to put up a sign that said “Come back later---after my plane leaves.” But the guy who invited me to the show was none other than Mohammed Sesay, aka Medo, a soccer player, law student, avid supporter of youth initiatives, and of course, a brother to me. I gave in to the invite. And today, I am grateful that I did, because my speaking on that radio show opened up the door for me to reach 20 more girls and in a unique way, that I could have never imagined before coming to Sierra Leone. God (and the universe) really does conspire in your favor.

“You know say we nor get freedom of speech nah yah,” Medo warned. He was reminding me to beware of what I said on the airwaves as the last time several students were arrested for airing their grievances on a radio show. Shortly after the show began airing, police arrived to arrest them. I took note of this, as I would have hated to close out my amazing vacation by being jailed for offending the government. Albeit, I really had no intention of speaking on politics anyway, as I am not well versed in the layers of the current political situation.

The show’s host welcome his listeners to the show, gave them the latest news on sports happenings, and then peaked their curiosity by telling them that he had a young lady in the studio. People called in, asked questions about my background. They asked mostly about how an American-born child could be so fluent in Krio; I myself don’t know how I pulled that one off because even when I was on the radio in the DMV, I couldn’t speak on serious topics in Krio. Oh and for the record, I did ask if I could speak in English, but they reminded me that maybe some old woman in a village upline would be listening in and wouldn’t understand me. So I made it through...all for that old woman upline. *upline = provinces

I spoke a bit about my background in youth development and sports program development and how I believed that sports are in fact an effective approach to positive youth development. So now the people wanted to know WHAT my plans were for sports and youth in Sierra Leone, what I came to do, what I would do and more importantly, if I would move to Sierra Leone to do these projects and more importantly, WHEN. I assured them that I do intend on going back home to develop some of projects I have in mind; however, I emphasized that there should be no rush in this process and that they should move away from the notion that anyone and everyone abroad can come home, jump start projects, and solve problems. It takes time, I told them, and the last thing I want to do is stick my hand in the pot, without assessing how hot it is. I want to have a plan of action that will come only after truly assessing the needs of the populations I want to serve. It will come.

And just when I thought I could relax and enjoy what little time I had left, or prepare for the nostalgia that I knew was to follow, I was called in again by Medo because of the response to the topic on the show. No radio show this time. This time they wanted me to address an all-girls football (soccer) club, FC Mahmoud. To this, I said a big, fat yes, because, of course, girls work---that’s just what I do! J Only problem was I only had two days left in Sierra Leone. So we agreed that I would meet with the girls on Thursday morning.

I was told that I would be picked up by a guy named Fred Claye, also known as the youth ambassador. He happened to live in Goderich so I needed nothing more to head to my getaway spot also in Goderich ;).

On the way, Fred Claye asked that question, the magic question: how are you going to help them? I told him that I wasn’t. I told him that I was going to listen to them. Teach maybe. Give some words of advice maybe. Positively affect one, maybe I would do. All I wanted to do was to hear first hand what girls and women believe are the most pressing issues for them in Sierra Leone particularly as female athletes, in this case.

 The team of about 20 girls had been summoned to the Yhosven Hall. They had been told to arrive at 7am because they would be playing a match outside of town. They wouldn’t have come if they had been told they were having a meeting. I entered aware of my presence with my clunky, funky, very-foreigner like wooden-wedge heels, wondered what impression I was already making, and said a quick prayer to the public speaking Gods (in Krio as I needed the Krio language Gods to answer this particular prayer). I was introduced, and then the language Gods came through because I was able to address those girls in Krio and in a motivational tone. This was a first for me. I was able to tell the girls a little about myself, what I do, what I want to do, and ask them questions about themselves. 

 The pressing question from me to them was what they felt their challenges were as female soccer players in Sierra Leone. Some spoke up, gave issues, examples and I appreciated that. The girls said that they would like more encouragement and support from their families, to be valued as soccer players. From a western standpoint, one would imagine that would be an easy fix, but when you grow up in a house of immigrants, you realize that emotional and verbal encouragement isn’t always guaranteed, though it can have significant impact on youth. I can attest to that. There was always power in my mom showing up to events where I would be speaking. I would always look for her and even as she strolled in late, I was always elated by her mere presence. I still look for my parents’ support and approval in many aspects of my life, so I can totally understand where these young women were coming from. It is the reason I still send my daddy my blog posts first.

But Fred Claye knows more than I knew in this moment; he, without a doubt, recognized the importance of the women getting support from their families, but he also understood their reality in ways that I did not in the moment.  So he moved to do something that exemplified why in fact he is known as the youth ambassador. Cognizant of the fact that the girls had withheld some of their biggest challenges and plight, he picked on them.  One by one, he called on the girls to step up to the front of the room. One by one he questioned them in a way that only a keen observer and someone who is truly, deeply, dedicated and passionate to a cause could do. The questions he asked, forced them to stand face to face with their biggest challenges. Those questions also expanded my own thoughts, challenged my idea of their plight, and gave me much needed cultural insight and scope of the situation in Sierra Leone from these young women’s perspectives.

Fatmata, Haja, Messi.

Fatmata, what do you want to become?  A lawyer. Why do you want to become a lawyer. Explain your passion for law. Why do you want to become something like a lawyer. What skills do you have? What do you do to show your dedication to this field. This young woman could barely speak to any of these questions. Although, she was the first picked on, she had a difficult time answering where her passion or interest for law had developed. Fred Claye wanted her to see that in order for you to become something, you have to start with a plan, and start by taking action. By prioritizing. Taking what you want to do seriously. It was evident that for one reason or another, she couldn’t do this.

Haja. How does your family feel about you playing soccer? They strongly dislike it. How does your father feel about you playing soccer. He often forbids me to. Why doesn’t he want you to play soccer? I am a woman and he doesn’t want me to be travelling around boys. We are from a tribe that is associated with a certain religion that has strict rules on interactions with men before marriage. Haja have you tried talking to your dad about your desire to play soccer? Haja tell us how you would do that? She hesitated. It was extremely difficult for her. And thus this would be difficult to do in front of her father.

Messi. What have you noticed since you became one of the star players? People all over the streets recognize me. How do you behave in public? Do you realize why that matters? I notice that both boys and girls say that they want to be me. What does that mean to you Messi?

The final interrogation of Messi and her response triggered something within me. I recognized on the spot that one of the areas in which Sierra Leone lacks is positive youth development, which would include teaching youth how to set goals with respect to their environment. Many of my sisters have dreams, yes, but do not know how to create steps to achieve their dreams. I do not claim to be able to do all. But I do know that I know how to set goals, work towards them, and that I can teach something as simple as having goals and setting them. So Godwilling, I promised the girls, I would be back. And that this time I would come with a small workshop on a Saturday, where we talk about what they would like to accomplish both on and off the soccer field and how to accomplish those things.

The hard reality for these girls is that for many of them, soccer cannot be there end-all-be all. It is important for them to view their abilities, skills, passion, desire for soccer as the first step to a better tomorrow. We asked them this:  in 10 years, what will you stand in front of 20 girls sitting in the same chairs which you occupy today, and say? What will be your legacy as someone who has been gifted with the ability to score goals, run quickly down the field and to defend your team? What will be your contribution to girls like you?

That encouraging them to develop plan B is not to discourage them from playing and loving soccer, but for them to figure out how they will take their talents a step further.  That they should use their gifts to uplift is what I left them with. That a female soccer player today, will become the first female president of Sierra Leone, is what I left them with. And my whatsapp contact information, of course.